So it has been about 7 months since Jessie has passed away and it has been almost a blur to me. To think that she isn't just a phone call away for me to bug about the latest movies or songs. She isn't in the other room watching "America's Next Top Model" or the other shows she always DVR'd to watch on the weekends. Just so many things make me think of her on a daily basis and I am sure that it will forever.
I think really the hardest thing has been watching my parents go through this hardship together. As a young adult, you know that someday your parents will pass away. That is the natural progression of life. And as a sibling, you know that someday one of you will have to live through the loss of the other. To me it is almost like the loss of one leg or arm. It is awkward to learn to move through life without the other.
But as a parent, to lose a child, especially when she was in the prime of her life, is the hardest thing. My parents should not have had to go through this but for some reason it happened and they did. There is not right or wrong way to grieve; there is just grief that is there every day. It is ever present in all that we do without Jessie here with us. We see things and think of her. We judge peole and remember her Judgeanator. We think about trips we wanted to go on and how she will not be with us physically but with us spiritually. How she will never be married and have children or even be an Auntie to my children. I feel all of these things and my parents feel them too but on a different level.
I don't think it will ever be the same and it is not suppose to be the same. You learn to live with a scar and huge scab on your heart and sometimes a song on the radio just picks at it to make is hurt. You learn to live with it and move on.
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One wonderful that has happened after Jessie's passing has been that my parents were able to establish an endowment at the University of Nevada~Reno where we both went to school. Jessie's scholarship has been established to help an upper level Journalism student who is focusing on Strategic Communications. When Jessie was a student at UNR she was on two different groups and did very well. I know that Jessie would have wanted to help students to follow in her footsteps and she was always so appreciative of the help she got while going to school here. The first scholarship was given away at the Savitt's Award Dinner at UNR on May 8th to Katie Hippert. She is a lovely young lady and I know that if she had had the chance to meet Jessie they would have been instant friends.
If anyone is interested in donating to Jessie's scholarship to contribute to the endowment for future scholarships, you can make a donation to the following:
University of Nevada, Reno
1664 N Virginia St / 0162
Reno, NV 89557
In the comment line of the check please write "Jessie A Turner Memorial Scholarship" so that funds go into that account.
